He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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