He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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