we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
