I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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