There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
