A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
