Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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