Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
