Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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