how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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