i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
