You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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