Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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