He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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