I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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