He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sorry about my life...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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