You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
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My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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