hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
