im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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