Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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