I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
