My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
