I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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