i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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