Are we in a gay sports bar?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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