She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
