you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
