There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize