Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize