I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
