a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize