cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
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i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
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In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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