drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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