happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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