i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
sarcasm needs its own font
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
