That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
