grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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