We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
