if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
