Fuck appropriateness.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
