We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
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And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
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Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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