We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
