Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
