I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
