North Korea, Best Korea!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize