That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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