Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
