Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
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I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
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You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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