Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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