he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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