Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
