Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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