maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
