I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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