I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
