I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
