Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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